The Weight of Silence | Part 3: The Realization and Resolve
Part 3:ย The Realization and Resolve
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Months passed, and I became a master at fitting in. I knew exactly how to modulate my voice to be just loud enough, how to keep my ideas neutral enough, how to smile in meetings just long enough to signal I was approachable but not โtoo much.โย ย
But the truth was, I hated it.ย ย
Every day, I felt a little more like a shadow of myself. My ideas, once bold and vibrant, were diluted. My voice, once powerful and commanding, felt like it belonged to someone else.ย ย
One morning, I found myself in the office early, pacing the boardroom with my laptop in hand. I was preparing for another presentation, but something felt off. I looked out the window at the city skyline and tried to remember how I used to feel about these momentsโhow the adrenaline and excitement used to fuel me.ย ย
Instead, I felt hollow.ย ย
I thought back to the first big presentation I gaveโthe one where I walked out of the room on air, where my confidence lit up the space, where people couldnโt stop talking about my ideas. When did that person disappear?ย ย
Then, it hit me.ย ย
She didnโt disappear. I had buried her.ย ย
I had let the worldโs discomfort with my presence shrink me. I had dimmed my light because someone, somewhere, decided it was too bright. And that realization brought a wave of emotions: sadness, anger, frustration, and finally, determination.ย ย
I wasnโt going to let this happen anymore.ย ย
At that moment, I made a choice. When the room filled for the presentation, I stood tall and looked out at the faces around me. Some familiar smiles greeted me, but I also saw the skepticsโthe ones who seemed to weigh every word I said, the ones who had quietly asked me to โtone it down.โย ย
But I wasnโt presenting for them anymore.ย ย
I clicked the first slide, took a deep breath, and let my voice carry across the room. I spoke with the clarity, passion, and conviction that I had hidden for too long. The energy in the room shifted. Some people leaned forward, others sat back, arms crossed, but I kept going.ย ย
When I finished, the room was silent for a moment. Then someone began clapping. Another joined, and then another. It wasnโt thunderous applause, but it was genuine.ย ย
I walked out of that room feeling lighter than I had in years.ย ย
Hereโs the thing: If you havenโt guessed by now, I am a Black woman.ย ย
For years, Iโve navigated spaces where my confidence, my boldness, and even my very presence were seen as โtoo much.โ But theyโre not โtoo much.โ Theyโre exactly what they need to be.ย ย
And maybe my story feels familiar to you. Maybe youโve been told to tone it down, fit in, or take up less space. Maybe youโve felt the weight of everyone elseโs expectations pressing on your shoulders, making you question if being yourself is worth the risk.ย ย
Let me tell you: it is.ย ย
Iโm done dimming my light, and I hope youโll stop dimming yours too. We all have a song, a voice, a presence that deserves to be heardโloudly, boldly, unapologetically.ย ย
So, the next time you feel the urge to shrink yourself to make others comfortable, ask yourself: Why should I?
The world needs your light.ย ย
(*Follow for more stories about owning your truth, your voice, and your power.*)ย ย
Blog posts
The Weight of Silence | Part 3: The Realization and Resolve
The Weight of Silence | Part 2: The Quiet Pushback
The Weight of Silence | Part 1: The Big Presentation
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References
[1] https://www.msdacademy.org/about/what-sets-us-apart
[2] http://www.vatican.va/content/francesco/en/apost_exhortations/documents/papa-francesco_esortazione-ap_20190325_christus-vivit.html
[3] https://kidadl.com/quotes/be-different-quotes-to-celebrate-individuality
[4] https://www.cliffsnotes.com/literature/a/anthem/summary-and-analysis/chapter-2
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Comments
Angela said:
I Really like how this story ended. This helps me understand something I have been dealing with.